While I don’t typically post negative reviews, I’m going to make an exception. This is for a couple of reasons, but mostly because I think that Perfy is in on the joke. Let’s not bury the lede; I thought that this soda was terrible, but I am mesmerized by Perfy’s creativity and boldness to put this concoction in the market. The rest of their low-sugar natural sodas appear so approachable and mainstream…this was a total curveball and I have immense respect for it.

In terms of background, Vasa Martinez created Perfy after a series of personal tragedies. Complications with their own health and the deaths of close friends and family inspired the launch of a healthy soda alternative. The name is the founder’s nickname for their mother, and a beautiful legacy. They have an impressive line-up of low-sugar sodas available on their website and through local grocers. Now that I’ve covered my admiration for the brand, let me explain why I hated this soda so much.

I don’t like bloody mary’s, or V8, or Clamato, or anything else tomato juice forward that I can think of. When I saw a social media post about a pepperoni pizza flavored soda I had hoped that that it would really lean in the pepperoni direction, but my biggest disappointment here is that it leaned much more heavily to the tomato flavor. That’s not “wrong”, but it’s not my personal preference. For those that appreciate the natural bile flavor of tomato juice, this might be exactly what you’re looking for. The tomato presence is clear and strong and I couldn’t run away from it fast enough.

The can itself is beautiful. I love the checkered pizzeria tablecloth theme. The homage to Jersey italian slang on the side is also a nice touch. That’s about where my fondness ends and my loathing begins. I drank a whole can to make sure that I was really giving it a chance, and the more I consumed the more confident I was that I just wasn’t the target audience for this beverage. I poured it over some ice cold whiskey stones, but the temperature was not the problem. When I made my version of Dr Pepperoni (pouring Dr Pepper over some crispy pepperoni), I liked the subtle spiciness that it added to the soda. Maybe since this soda was vegan there was little hope of any prominence of pepperoni flavor (despite saying that it was pepperoni pizza flavored).

I’m not mad that I purchased this, and I’m not necessarily telling you not to buy it. If you really like tomato juice and are curious about the idea of sparkling tomato juice, by all means…dig in. Or, if you just really like novelty beverages, it would be worth your time. Otherwise, you should probably pick up one of their other flavors. That’s what I’ll be doing next time.

Oh yeah, and I also made a Pepperoni Pizza Float. I just used vanilla ice cream, but I’ve heard about Ranch Dressing Ice Cream, and that would have been insane.