Background

This is Part 3 of my 24 Hour French Fry Odyssey around Seattle, covering hours 17 to 24. You can read about the other sections of the Odyssey by clicking this link. For context, the Odyssey is an endurance challenge with the following rules:

  1. Must be completed within 24 Hours
  2. Must visit 24 restaurants
  3. 1 restaurant per hour
  4. No mass-market fast food chains
  5. Must eat a meaningful amount of fries from every restaurant

In total, I walked 32,210 steps over the 24 hours (I didn’t use my car for most of it), I spent $234.13 on food, and I burned 6,295 calories. No clue how many calories I consumed. I knew that this would be difficult, but I didn’t anticipate that the mental and physical aspects of the challenge would be equal trials. As the name implies, this was a journey.

I selected the restaurants based on recommendations from the Seattle Reddit community, my own research, and several others out of pure desperation. I had a detailed plan going into the day, but things derailed late in the challenge and I had to scramble to finish! The ratings charts shows all of my stops in order along with the rating of the fries (dark bars are what’s reported in this blog installment). I hope you enjoy my adventure.

Stop 17 – Chandelier Lounge [10:00 pm]

As I entered the last 8 hours of the challenge, I assumed that I was on the home stretch. Exhaustion was lapping against the back of my eyelids like an incoming tide. This was the time that I’d ordinarily be getting ready for bed, but instead I was walking down a nearly deserted Broadway in search of my next order of fries. Katsu Burger (stop 16) was a good stretch away from my next step stop, but I thought that the cool night air might freshen my mind a bit. My destination was originally a bar called the Bait Shop, but along the way I spotted a sandwich board on the sidewalk advertising the menu of a place called the Chandelier Lounge. I saw that they sold fries and I made the impulsive decision to deviated from my schedule and give them a try. This would turn out to be a critical move.

Chandelier Lounge was nearly empty. My only company was an awkward couple in the middle of what might have been a date, or some sort of “situationship”. Any other night I would have been turned off by the dude’s deafening cackle at his own jokes, but I was hurting for company and that’s what was available. I ordered the fries, and again I pleaded with the bartender to give me as small of a portion as he could. The message wasn’t getting through, so I ended up explaining the Odyssey that I was on. He was impressed enough to comp me the fries, and I gratefully accepted (but still left a healthy tip). I measured the pommes frites at 8mm, and they had some skin on the ends. They were fried to almost-crispy, and the caper aioli was not distinctly different from mayonnaise. They weren’t noticeably seasoned, and it was tough to eat more than a small handful. I immediately regretted my decision to stop in because the fries weren’t noteworthy or interesting (again, more of a me problem than a them problem). Some people love limp/floppy fries, but I’m not one of those people. I left, and I originally vowed to only include this restaurant as a footnote in the journey. I broke that vow very quickly.

I spent $5 and gave them a 4.0 out of 10. The ambiance was interesting, but I wouldn’t bother with the fries again.

Stop 18 – Bait Shop [11:00 pm]

Bait Shop was just a few blocks further down Broadway. In my mind this was still going to be my 17th stop, but I wasn’t sure if anyone would judge it because I placed my order around 10:45pm and didn’t get the fries until a little after 11:00pm. Should that be the 10pm slot or the 11pm slot? I wasn’t too concerned because I already had the Chandelier Lounge notched in the 10pm if I needed insurance. Bait Shop made it onto my original list due to several recommendations from the local subreddit, and their menu advertised “Bait Shop Fries” that were “World Famous Hand-Cut Fries”. World famous is quite a claim and certainly warranted a stop on the tour.

The decorations inside Bait Shop were incredible. It was super campy, and spooky (for Halloween). If “Spoocampy” isn’t a word, it should be. There were silly Halloween props scattered all over the place with a towering skeleton and a vomiting Jack Pumpkinhead tossing his cookies into a barrel as highlights. Their music was energetic and fun, but not overwhelming, and the service was unexpectedly friendly. I loved it. Such a great vibe, and I was genuinely happy to be there. I received my World Famous Hand-Cut Fries and Tiny Mexican Coke and dug in. I measured the fries at 12mm, so they were among the thickest fries I had come across this evening. They were fried well, but not perfectly, and I found them to still be a bit starchy and lacking a proper crust. Could have been a bit more seasoned as well. Ketchup solved most of the problem, and if perfect fries weren’t someone’s objective I think that most would be happy with these.

After a few fries I realized that I had another problem. Bait Shop’s bathroom was destined to be the third toilet casualty of my journey, and I shamefully excused myself to the restroom. To my delight, the level of decorating from the bar extended into the bathroom, and I was able to take care of business to an audience of ghosts, scarecrows, and rotating alarm lights. What a treat.

I spent $11.04 and gave them a 7.1 out of 10. I’m sorry about the bathroom.

Stop 19 – Dick’s Drive-In (Edmonds) [12:00 am]

This is where the night really went off the rails. Keep in mind that I’m extremely tired, extremely full, borderline nauseous, and have a weird cramp in my foot. It’s currently about 11:30pm, and I have 4 more stops planned near Capitol Hill that will last me until the 3:00am time slot. My next restaurant was intended to be Saint John’s back on Pine St (a decent walk). Broadway had turned into a bit of a ghost town and I saw more rats running down the sidewalk than people for several blocks. When I did see people, their behavior was weird and hostile. I was getting less and less comfortable with each footstep.

I arrived at Saint John’s and they were supposed to close at 12am, but they were already done for the night. Bummer. I had a back-up in mind at Lost Lake Cafe, but they had also decided to shut down early for the night. I checked out Comet Tavern, and despite closing at 2am, they had already shut down their kitchen. Sam’s Tavern was supposed to be open until 12am, but again…no luck. I had really screwed up the timing with those earlier stops and was paying the price. At this point I didn’t have a prayer of getting fries from another restaurant before 12am and I decided that Bait Shop would count as the 11pm stop (because I received the order after 11:00pm), and Chandelier Lounge would receive full recognition on the tour.

photo courtesy of Saint John’s Bar and Eatery

Here’s where I made my second mistake. I had two other locations nearby that I could have used for 12:00am and 1:00am. However, I had targeted another place for 12:00am called The Jilted Siren that offered Dirty Curry Fries that sounded amazing. Google Maps showed that they were open until 1:00am, so I walked 3/4 of a mile hoping that I’d have better luck.

I should have called. I don’t know why I didn’t. The walk down there was super sketchy and I felt extremely exposed. Things kept getting worse as I walked into the bar, stepped up to the counter, and realized that I had made another mistake. I told the bartender that I had heard that they had amazing fries and he told me that that was impossible. They didn’t have fries. They didn’t even have a fryer. It turns out I was at the wrong bar…this was Montana Bar, and The Jilted Siren was directly behind them around the block.

it wasn’t meant to be

I walked around the block, found the sign for Jilted Siren, and found more bad news. They were no longer open on Wednesdays. I was screwed. At this point I would either need to make my way back up to Broadway or figure out a new plan. Walking back to Broadway no longer felt safe (the crazies had taken over the streets), but that was also the closest entrance to the light rail to get back to my car. It was at this point that I pulled the ripcord and ordered an Uber to take me back to the suburbs. I wasn’t sure how to fix my problem, but I wanted access to my car in order to open up some more options and a sense of security.

The Uber arrived quickly and we made our way back up north. I researched several options along the way and decided that I’d stop in an old tavern that my dad used to go to with his softball team after games (30 years ago). I hopped in my car, arrived at The Getaway Tavern around 12:40am, and asked the bartender if I could have an order of fries. The bad luck continued, and he told me that they had turned off the kitchen about an hour ago.

also, not meant to be

I was running out of time, but I remembered another sports bar nearby called Ringers. I cruised over, and arrived somewhere around 12:45am. Once again, I marched in, asked the bartender if I could have an order of fries, and was told that the kitchen was shut down. No luck. I desperately needed to get an order of fries somehow, someway, but I was running out of options. The bartender gave me a tip that there’s a poker house with a 24/7 kitchen at the other end of town that I could try, and I tucked that in my back pocket. I knew that they wouldn’t be able to serve me before 1:00am, but it did spark another idea.

I jumped in my car and went to the one place that I knew was a sure bet for quick service at this insane hour. Dick’s Drive-In was going to be my 1:00am option, but I was out of time and needed a solution. Dick’s is a local Drive-In chain that has cheap burgers and horrible fries. They’re open late, and I estimated that they were about a 7 minute drive from where I was at. That gave me a few minutes to park, order, and photograph the meal before 1:00am, and…I PULLED IT OFF!!! I arrived at 12:57am, placed my order, and had my fries back in the car at 12:59am.

The fries were terrible. Worse than usual. I measured them at 6.5mm which is thin enough that they should get crispy quickly in the fryer, but they’re also thin enough that they’ll get soggy within 2 minutes of leaving the oil. They fresh cut their potatoes, but they only fry them once. This produces a dark, flaccid, and greasy fry that many Seattlites inexplicably adore. While the fries suck, they saved my attempt at the 24 Hour French Fry challenge, and the odyssey continued.

I spent $3.09 and gave them a 2.7 out 10. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I was also relieved. I had walked 30,592 steps and burned 5,385 calories. In case you lost count, that was 7 restaurants that all fell through in a row.

Stop 20 – Ace’s Poker [1:00 am]

Probably the most random out of any of my stops on the tour, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Like the bartender at Ringers told me, this place has a 24/7 kitchen, and I needed something that was open and willing to serve me. I walked into Ace’s Poker at about 1:25am, stepped directly up to the bar, and asked for French fries. The guy at the counter was super amicable, but he told me that they didn’t have fries. I almost cried, and I think he knew it. Then he asked me if potato wedges would be okay. Absolutely!!!

The potato wedges were barely warm, but they were close enough to a French fry to count for my challenge, and that’s what really mattered. I measured them at 12mm thick at the fattest point, and there was obviously a lot of skin on the tater. There was a whiff of salt on them, but not enough to cut through the mountain of starch that clung to my tastebuds. It was painful. Ketchup could not help. I ate enough for the camera, used the bathroom, and I left without saying goodbye. I was really appreciative that they were open and able to serve me, but I didn’t think I’d be able to explain why I’d walk in, order potatoes, eat 6, cover them ceremoniously with a napkin, and then leave. It was better to let them solve the mystery on their own.

I spent $5.53 and gave them a 2.0 out of 10. The lights were way too bright, the people were way too drunk, and I was a shell of myself.

Stop 21 – Alibertos Jr [2:00 am]

All night food options are limited in the Seattle area. If we ever had a diner culture, it’s waned over the years. I visited a couple on this journey, but there weren’t many to choose from to fill in these late night hours. There are a couple of 24/7 Mexican restaurants in the area, so I utilized two of them to help me round out the final stops. Alibertos Jr is the first. Their menu is in the same style as other generic Mexican greasy spoons with your standard, tacos, burritos, enchiladas, and speciality soups. Fortunately, they also serve their core ingredients over a bed of fries if you want it. Most people would go for the Carne Asada Fries, but I opted for the Al Pastor Fries.

eating in my car because it’s drive-thru only

The Al Pastor Fries were very heavy. It’s expensive, but based on weight alone this felt like a reasonable value for the money. I could barely even see French fries under the blanket of meat, cheese, guacamole, salsa, and other toppings. I measured the fries at 7mm, which is thin, and certainly did not have a prayer of standing up to the amount of wet stuff layered on top. They were mush by the time the clamshell entered my vehicle. To their credit, the plate (as a whole) was hot, generously filled, and smelled amazing. Eating some protein after so many plain carbs felt good, but my stomach was in a total protest at this point and I couldn’t handle more than a fraction of the dish.

I spent $13.31 (ouch) and gave them a 6.2 out of 10. My step count had slowed down now that I was driving around, and I had only increased to 31,253 steps. My calorie burn was also slowing down, other than the energy loss from pure anxiety. I had burned 5,749 calories total.

Stop 22 – Don’s Restaurant [3:00 am]

Don’s Restaurant in Marysville was something that I had researched and kept in my back-pocket as an extreme back-up in case shit had hit the fan and I needed something to fill a gap. Shit had definitely hit the fan, and Don’s was my solution for the 3am slot. There was another 24/7 Mexican place in Everett, but Stop 21 was Mexican, and Stop 23 was going to be Mexican. We needed something else. This required a 26.7 mile drive that took around 28 minutes to complete, but I had time to kill and meditated to some indie jams on Spotify while cruising North.

My exhaustion had not relented, but it had turned into something more permanent and manageable. It was just a part of me at this point, and the routine of greeting the server, reviewing the menu, and ordering the same thing again and again was no longer awkward or foreign. This time I got tartar sauce on the side to really mix things up, but it was just a plain plate of crinkle cut fries. I measured them at 10mm again, and there were about 7 crystals of salt on the entire order. The server was lovely, and she checked in on me several times to make sure I was okay. I was definitely not okay, but I smiled and assured her that I had never been better. The fries sucked, though. I could never let her know. She offered a to-go box when I told her I needed to leave and I couldn’t come up with an excuse. After a very uncomfortable pause where my brain was misfiring on every cylinder, I just said “no, not this time”, as if this was something I had ever done before, or would ever do again.

I spent $7.10 and rated them a 5.3 out of 10. I was interested in pull-tabs, but not enough to delay the 25 minute drive to Lynnwood for Stop 23.

Stop 23 – Washington Burrito [4:00 am]

I was truly on the homestretch at this point, and I took a bit of comfort in that. Truth be told, I felt pretty numb. I had pushed so far through the pain that I had arrived in an alternative dimension where this was my real life, the challenge would continue forever, and no one would mourn my death. That sounds melodramatic, but I was not in a good mental space. The drive South from Marysville was difficult and required my full attention. In order to get better pictures of the Washington Burrito, I decided to use the walk-up window instead of the drive-through…and there was a line! It was a line of 1, but still a line. I wasn’t alone. To rub salt in my wounds, the cold created the perfect conditions for my nipples to begin chaffing against my shirt, and this new type of discomfort helped me feel something and know that I was still alive.

Washington Burrito is an interesting place, and I was fortunate to be able to eat there. I say that because they were shut down by the health department for their many critical health code violations back in 2022/2023. I’m glad they could turn things around, and I hope that they’re able to avoid the cross-contamination issues from before. I ordered the Carne Asada Fries which was much more food than I wanted, but it’s what was available within the context of the challenge. I measured the fries at 6mm (very very thin), and they disintegrated under the weight of the toppings. Very similar to what happened at Alibertos Jr. The carne asada was a bit dry and crumbly, but the flavor was fine. The fries themselves weren’t seasoned, but if you ate them mixed up with everything else, that wasn’t a problem. It’s not better than eating similar ingredients in a burrito, or on top of chips, but that’s entirely my fault for ordering french fries for 23 hours straight.

I spent $13.26 (damn) and gave them a 5.8 out of 10. I’d be happy with a standard burrito here, but I wouldn’t order these again. Not much change in total steps (31,775), and total calories burned were 6,113.

Stop 24 – Denny’s [5:00 am]

It was a full moon, and I was set to finish my tour in poetic style. I was half a block away from where the Odyssey had started, and I could see the IHOP restaurant from the front door of Denny’s. My mental state was “absent”, and no amount of Tums was able to make my insides feel okay. I had killed three bathrooms along the way, and I was committed to not adding a fourth. Denny’s has a fond place in my heart as the high school theatre nerd destination after a performance, and I hoped that some of that goodwill would manifest into a positive experience at the close of my experiment.

I did my usual performance of pretending to read the menu, and then settled on “french fries”. There were actually more options available, and the waitress asked if I wanted the plain fries or the seasoned fries. I insisted on the seasoned fries and she commended my choice. When my order arrived, I immediately noticed that there was absolutely zero seasoning whatsoever on my “seasoned fries”, but there was absolutely zero chance that I would say anything or send them back. My goal was to order, eat, film, and get the hell out of there. Upon later reflection, I’m pretty sure that I was provided the “wavy fries” instead of the “seasoned fries” because they looked like a crinkle-cut fry that was crinkled the wrong way. I measured them at 7mm tall, and various widths. They were potent starch bombs, and it felt like they were melting my tongue as I processed them in my mouth. The ketchup barely helped. Did I care? Absolutely not. I was giddy when I asked for the bill, and I skipped back to my car. I was ready to take a shower, brush my teeth, and see how long I could sleep (spoiler, it was only about 3 hours).

I spent $5.69 and gave them a 4.8 out of 10. There is better food at Denny’s. Don’t waste your time with the wavy fries. I finished with 32,310 steps and burned 6,295 calories.

Conclusion

I DID IT!!! This is unbelievable. I knew it would be hard, but I truly underestimated the difficulty of making strategically critical decisions with very little sleep, very little nutrition, and an extremely ramped level of anxiety and paranoia. I like french fries, and I’ve written about french fries for a long time. Quite frankly, I would be very comfortable not seeing another french fry for a long time.

What did I learn along the way? I mentioned this in Part 2, but HoneyHole makes extremely good fries. They’re some of the most technically perfect fries that I’ve had in Seattle, and I will use them as an example of “fries done right” moving forward. I also learned that I’m very sensitive to salt levels on french fries. Restaurants can’t be afraid of generously seasoning their fries, and preferably tossing them in a bowl with salt when they’re fresh out of the fryer. I also learned that a refreshing drink can 100% change your body’s acceptance of monotonous foods. If I were to do this again, I would invest earlier and more often in mocktails, lemonades, and other bright beverages.

If you haven’t already, please read Part 1 and Part 2. This was a crazy journey…an Odyssey…and I hope that you found it entertaining. If you have ideas for other challenges, or places that you think I should visit, please let me know. I’m making zero guarantees that I will actually do anything like this ever again, but you never know!

If you’re a restaurant that I visited and you feel bad about how I rated you, or the experience that I portrayed. I’m sorry. I hope that others have better experiences, and for the most part I think that I made it clear that my experience was due to the choices that I was making. I wish you success and prosperity. The restaurant business is difficult, and dealing with idiots like me must be a drag. If you have a true correction that you’d like me to make, please reach out.

If you’re a restaurant that I did not visit and you’d like me to stop by someday, let me know. I’m not a journalist, and I’m not against accepting free food, but I also strive to provide honest reviews and stories on my blog. I’d be happy to highlight you, but I’ll provide both good and bad notes as I see them.

Regrets: I wasted more food than I’m comfortable with. Yeah, it’s mostly just potatoes, but even so I wish I could have put the excess to better use. While I tried to order small portions (and even requested to be underserved), I ate easily less than half of what I ordered through the challenge. Beyond that, I should have known better than to explicitly trust Google Maps and the posted operating hours. If I were to ever do this again, I would call the restaurants that I intended to visit and confirm not only their operating hours, but the expected opening hours for their kitchens.

Awards

  • Best Overall Fry – HoneyHole
  • Best Dipping Sauce – Mt. Joy
  • Best Bathroom – Bait Shop
  • Best Beverage – Boat Bar
  • Most Unusual Shape – Denny’s (wavy fries)
  • Best Seasoning – Mamnoon
  • Best Ambiance – Bait Shop
  • Best Value – Nue
  • Most Flaccid – Dick’s
  • Best Wildlife – Ivar’s Fish Bar
  • Most Potential – Wonder Ethiopian
  • Biggest Gimmick – Chicken Valley (Tornado Potato)
  • Most Fishy – Taku (Katsu Burger is a close 2nd)
  • Most Random – Ace’s Poker

Here’s a link to a map that shows the locations I’ve visited.