This went about how I expected. You know the oil that rises to the top of natural peanut butter? Water it down a bit, carbonate it, and then you’ll have peanut butter soda.

What makes this even worse is a bitter vibe that tastes like the papery skin on the outside of a peanut. That’s the worst part of a peanut. I suppose they could have made a peanut shell soda and delivered more horrors, but this was bad enough.

I’d love to wax poetic about this, but that simple description was probably enough. In an alternate universe I could imagine there being a peanut butter soda that’s enjoyable, but I’m stuck here in plain old reality. It’s gross.

I’ve had a lot of gross sodas in my time doing this, so I had to put this to the real test. Could I finish it? It took me about 30 minutes but I managed to drink the whole thing. For that reason alone it managed to come in at a terrible, but not abominable 3 out of 10.

I have nothing against Rocket Fizz as a brand, and I respect the business decision to carry novelty flavors. However, this will never rise above novelty.

Sampled on 7/6/2016, purchased at Rocket Fizz on Capitol Hill in Seattle.

I’m calling it now…there will not be a second tasting.