I don’t spend a lot of time in dive bars. This is due in part to the fact that I don’t drink. It’s actually mostly due to the fact that I’m a boring person, and boring people don’t go to dive bars. In unrelated news, I visited a pub today in Spokane Washington that is definitely not a dive bar. Let me introduce you to the pride of Spokane, the Red Lion BBQ & Pub.


Seeing as I was accompanied by a regular patron of this dive bar classy establishment I received a personal introduction to the proprietor. When Tony was informed about my website and intent to review his french fries he provided some valuable context for my post. “You’re in a real sh!thole.” Thanks, Tony!


My visit to this dive-bar classy establishment fell a days after Halloween, so I was fortunate enough to enjoy their tasteful decorations. I kid you not, it was hard to tell if I was in a dive-bar classy pub decorated for Halloween or in a Spirit Halloween Store decorated as a pub. The walls and columns were covered in ghoulish adornments. It was rad!

This doesn’t show the room behind me which was also covered in spooky stuff

I asked Tony about the quality of his french fries and his conviction in the product. His response was inspiring. “Well, they’re something different every couple of months depending on what’s cheapest.” Say no more, Tony. You had me at “Well…”.


The fries were a medium cut, approximately 10 mm (I neglected to get a picture of my calipers). They had a familiar crispy crust that I believe results from a light coating of flour or potato starch. Regardless, they were fried well and had a nice texture. The generic gourmet tartar sauce provided was a definite high-light and made the fried potato sticks go down easy.


Did I mention that the Halloween decorations were interactive? No??? Well, the Halloween decorations were interactive! Check me out! I’m a skeleton ghost thing! Eating french fries! With tartar sauce! In a dive bar classy establishment!


Obviously, this place was for real. The fries were on point, but even so…they’re just plain fries. You’d think that they’d end up with a 6, or maybe even a 6.5, but no…they earned a full 7.9 out of 10. Here are my reasons why:

  1. They were honest about what I was getting
  2. They flattered me and my status as an elite food reviewer
  3. They provided me with a complimentary RC Cola
  4. They also provided free stories of hilarious exploits from previous trips to Mazatlan Mexico

If you need to class up your life a bit, head over to Red Lion BBQ & Pub. The food looked delicious, but that’s not why people come here. They come for the warm and endearing staff. *hugs*

Visited on 11/3/2016